I’ve just found this joke in my e-mail, in Romanian. Had a laugh and thought about sharing it with you so I searched for a translation. Thanks Gaudeaugroup.com.

“A wealthy man decides to take a hunting safari in Africa and takes his faithful dog with him so he doesn’t feel so lonely out in the middle of the bush. The first day out on the expedition the dog starts  absent-mindedly chasing butterflies.  Before long, the dog discovers that he has become separated from the safari group. He starts wandering around in the wilderness, lost, when he suddenly notices a leopard a little way off, heading rapidly in his direction, with the obvious intention of making a meal out of him.

dog w-bone“Now I’m in deep doo doo!” thinks the dog, and starts racking his brain to figure a way out of his dire situation. He notices some bones nearby, and an idea hits him: He settles down comfortably to chew on the bones, with his back to the leopard. Just as the leopard is about to pounce, the dog exclaims loudly: “Man, that was one delicious leopard I just ate! I wonder if there’s any more around here?

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, a look of terror on his face, and quietly slinks off into the bush again, thinking: “Whew! That was close! That demon dog almost got me!”.

Meanwhile, a monkey had been watching the whole scene from the top of a nearby tree.  The monkey figures he can put his information to good use and trade it with the leopard for protection. So off he scuttles, but the dog sees him heading after the leopard at great speed, and figures something is going on.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, cuts a deal, and tells him the whole story. The leopard, furious at being fooled so easily, exclaims: “That dog! I’m gonna get him for that! So the stupid dog thinks he can make a fool of me, lord of the wilderness, does he? We’ll show him who eats who around here! Come on, monkey: jump on my back, and we’ll go get him!”  The monkey jumps on, and the two of them head off in search of the dog.

The dog sees the leopard coming from a long way off, this time with the monkey on his back. “What a sneaky little monkey!”, thinks the dog to himself. “Now what am I going to do?” Instead of running, the dog sits down on the ground, his back to the attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and waits for them to get close enough to hear him. “Where’s that rascal monkey!” exclaims the dog, loudly.  “Never can trust him! I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he’s still not back!””

While putting this post together something else crossed my mind.
How come such a ‘genius’ got lost in the wilderness, ‘absent-mindedly chasing butterflies’?!?
That’s more likely for a careless brat than for a seasoned ‘old hand’…

I somehow feel this fits well in here:

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear that someone was hiding under my bed at night, so I finally went to a shrink and told him “I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under my bed!! I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year”, said the shrink. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”

“How much do you charge?”, I asked.
“Eighty dollars per visit”, replied the doctor.

“I’ll sleep on it”, I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. “Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?”, he asked.
“Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.”

“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude the shrink said, “And how, may I ask, did a Bartender cure you?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed……..Ain’t nobody under there now.”